Hands on solo

 

It's true, after all - - the unknown stores of strength that a mother pulls somehow when needed.

When the time came to bite the bullet in the last few weeks of last year, I thought I would buckle completely, lead us all to disaster, but the worst that has happened is only loss of temper and quite a few tantrums (mine, and only when he's not looking).

Today, I had to juggle a GP visit (for asthma meds), a settling visit at his new daycare (because the other new daycare is closing in two weeks!), a drop-off at his steadfast daycare, and dropping off the car to be serviced, all while navigating his naps and energy levels and doing a half day's work (was on half-day leave). I treated myself to an amazing late lunch and congratulated myself on not falling apart. When I was done with my work I decided to hop on the bus to get him early when daycare suddenly texted that he'd vomited and needed to be collected. I was there quickly (Nelson is tiny) and he was fine, though he hadn't napped since drop off at all (and there went the next 48 hours of daycare because of the vomiting) , so we hopped back on the bus to the city to wait for the car to be ready.

We waited in Trafalgar near the piano by the museum, where a young man was plinking down some melancholic tunes - - U was fascinated. When the man had finished and walked away to talk to someone, U tried some tentative notes and so I let him sit down and bang away for 30 seconds. Then i took him down and let him have a snack; the young man came back and started playing a tinkly creation - - I think it was for U because he'd been so appreciative. The man he was talking to walked over and we four listened to the music, genuinely enjoying those moments. It was so nice to slow down for a bit and have the experience along with U. Lovely.

The nice man from the garage called and said the car was ready so I carried U all the way there. He fell asleep on the short ride home. I wasn't sure I could do it, but I was able to transfer him to bed without waking him, and take out the rubbish and clean his high chair tray and have few moments to myself, drinking iced water to fight the blazing heat I'd felt all day.

He cried out and I climbed into bed with him, which helped him settle. I'm resting with him now. 

Last night, I spent 10min bawling to my husband about how horrible bed time is when U walks around, tries to scrape my moles with his fingernails, throws all the pillows and stuffies off the bed. God, I will have so many of those still. But I hope they'll be shorter by a second or two every time.

Tomorrow and on Thursday, he will be home while I try to work. Praying for grace and strength!